Those who are Lesbian or Gay must come out to themselves before they can come out to others. There is a continuum of coming out to oneself, to family, to employers, and to others. In western cultures this usually occurs in six stages.*

Stage One: Identity Confusion The fear that the person may be gay or lesbian. 'Oh my God, what if I am gay?.'
Stage Two: Comparison Being able to accept that the person may actually BE gay; comparing oneself to other gay people.
Stage Three: Identity Tolerance Exploration of gay identity and the gay community. Often feels bad about being gay, but can't 'help' oneself.
Stage Four: Identity Acceptance Acceptance and comfort with self as a gay person. Often feels different from heterosexuals and hostile towards straight culture.
Stage Five: Identity Pride Occurs when the person immerse themselves in lesbian and gay community and culture to live out the identity totally. Arrogant pride and rejection of straight culture as the norm
Stage Six: Identity Synthesis Occurs when a person develop a fully internalized and integrated lesbian or gay identity and experiences themselves as whole when interacting with everyone across all environments.
Adapted from Cass, V.C. (1979). Homosexuality identity formation: A Theoretical Model, Journal of Homosexuality 4 (3), 219-235. Cass, V. C. (1998) and Sexual Orientation Identity Formation, A Western Phenomenon in R. J. Cabaj & T. S. Stein,(Eds.). Textbook of Homosexuality and Mental Health (pp. 227-251). Washington, D. C., American Psychiatric Association.

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