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MODULE 4
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We live in a culture that validates heterosexual coupling, rewarding "traditional" relationships with legal and financial support. Gay and lesbian couples, facing institutionalized oppression and internalized homophobia, have special needs that are overlooked and go unmet. Bisexual and transgendered partners also experience disenfranchisement from a society that focuses so greatly on a traditional model of couplehood, and does not recognize the unique needs of LGBT families. When LGBT people who are parents come out, or when they choose to become parents, there are unique medical, legal, and social dilemmas that they face.
LGBT relationships involve the same dynamics and values as heterosexual relationships. The most common denominator in romantic relationships is love, but same-sex relationships face the same issues as do all human relationships: jealousy, lust, control, intimacy problems, etc. We need to negotiate all the same developmental issues in couple-building as do heterosexual people, but we need to do this while combating oppression.
The word wife comes from an Old English word "wyf," meaning "helpmate" and husband comes from a word meaning "hunter." Family comes from Latin and means everyone who lives in a man's household, including his children, servants, and wife. But the word Partner has a wide variety of contexts: legal, work, athletics, etc. How do you feel about this term? How about Significant Other? Today, the term partner has developed a new association as a non-gender specific term, though it should be noted that many gay and lesbian people use the terms "wife" and "husband," or "spouse" to describe their partner or significant other. And some people avoid these words by using "friend." Whatever your preference, there are ramifications for any term a same-sex couple chooses.
LGBT couples do not have the same legal protection as heterosexual couples. Without these protections, we are denied many privileges and are therefore vulnerable to economic, social and personal losses. We are not legally allowed to marry and are often refused assistance when requesting donor insemination or adoption placements. We are rarely able to secure insurance benefits for our partners and sometimes we may be afraid to take advantage of benefits for fear of being outed. Many of us are unaware of the lack of legal protection we have and do not know how to go about securing the protections we do have.
Holland, the first country to allow lesbian and gay marriage, does not allow gay couples to adopt and Vermont and Massachusetts are the only states to offer "civil unions," granting LGBT couples similar rights as heterosexual married couples, but these unions are not legally recognized in other states.
Many people, including even some who are LGBT, are uncomfortable with the idea of LGBT folk raising children. They may subscribe to the myths about LGBT people, worry that children will be molested, or not develop "normal" and healthy sex and gender identities. Of course, such concerns are homophobic and transphobic. There is no evidence that children raised by a lesbian, gay, transgendered, or gender variant parent have any greater chance of struggling with sexual or gender identity issues, or face any difficulties with their gender development.
Lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and the transgendered have always raised children. There are currently an estimated six to 10 million lesbian and gay parents in the United States. While we don't know the exact number of bisexuals or transgendered people who are raising children, we know they exist and there is no evidence to indicate that their parenting or that of lesbians and gays is any less adequate than that of heterosexuals. There are an estimated 14 million children throughout the country with LGBT parents. Although many of these children were born when their parents were in a heterosexual relationship, the last two decades has seen a sharp rise among gay people planning and forming families through adoption, foster care, donor insemination, surrogacy, and other reproductive technologies. Some have described the current period as a lesbian and gay "baby boom."
Post a response to the Discussion Board stating what direction you would want to take this case. Be sure to consider what might have motivated Julia to disclose this information at this time. And decide whether or not the circumstances would change the foster care placement and plan for adoption.
Rainbow Access Initiative is a 501(c)3 tax-exempt organization.
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