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    MODULE 7
    LGBT AGING ISSUES

    "Every week 10,000 more gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans reach retirement age without equal access to the aging services and economic safety nets their neighbors can take for granted...According to The Gerontologist, pervasive discrimination threatens the health of gay and lesbian senior citizens, and requires that we all ask 'profound questions.'
    [The LGBT Aging Project of Massachusetts]


    The issues of concern to the LGBT community don't end with coming out -- the first time -- and they do not end as we grow older. LGBT people face homophobia in mainstream institutions throughout the life cycle, and in later years we face ageism within the LGBT community and from society in general.

      The goal of this module is...
      ...to identify the fears and concerns of LGBT aging and provide resources and information to help those in the later stages of life.


    PART ONE: Some Facts and Figures about LGBT Aging

    Research comparing LGBT seniors with their straight counterparts has shown some key differences that have profound implications for those in the LGBT communities and for providers serving LGBT seniors. The Brookdale Center on Aging in New York City found that LGBT seniors have significantly diminished support networks when compared to the general senior population. These findings show that:1

    • Up to 75% of LGBT seniors live alone (compared to more than 33% of the general senior population)
    • 90% have no children (compared to more than 20% in general senior population)
    • 80% age as single people, without a life partner or significant other (compared to more than 40% in the general senior population)
    This translates into a lack of traditional support networks which are not replaced by the strength of other close friendships or the size of informal support networks within the LGBT communities. Nowhere is this lack of support more evident than in the fact that 20% of LGBT seniors indicated that they have no one on whom to call in times of crisis. This rate is up to ten times higher than that seen in the general senior population.2

    This means that when they are compared to seniors in the general population, LGBT seniors are:

    • Twice as likely to age as a single person
    • 4.5 times as likely to have no children to call upon in times of need, and
    • 2.5 times as likely to live alone.
    Is it any wonder that so many LGBT seniors can think of no one to turn to in times of need or crises! In societies where the health and well-being of the old depend upon the care, support and involvement of biological family and married spouses, the profile of a majority of LGBT seniors as living alone, without family support, places us at particular risk as we age. In fact, research has shown that straight seniors with this very profile are at increased risk for depression, substance abuse, unnecessary institutionalization and premature death.

    As a result, the LGBT community is much more reliant on and has much greater need for professional social services and formal support systems in their old age than seniors in the mainstream. But unfortunately, the studies have shown that LGBT seniors do not access the programs and services they need. In fact,they are five times less likely to access senior services than the general senior population.

    Another survey of agencies serving seniors in the US showed that fully 50% of LGBT seniors would not be welcomed at senior centers if their sexual orientation were known.3 And with good reason; the majority of mainstream providers are heterosexist; they assume that all the old people they serve are straight. It's an assumption that affects programming and social service delivery, the language used for intake, for the discussion of relationships, for life reminiscing and many other programming activities, and it serves to marginalize and alienate the 3 million LGBT seniors across the nation.4 So, many LGBT seniors feel they have no choice but to go back into the closet if they want to access mainstream senior services.

    Providers do not know enough about LGBT people, especially LGBT People of Color and of transgender experience. And it's only recently that issues confronting people of "intersex" experience become part of LGBT discussion and research.5 Efforts are being made to improve the situation, but until such time as that happens, it's up to us to inform and educate the providers. This may be difficult, but it's the only way change can be effected.


      EXERCISE 21: Fears
      Send an e-mail to your coach answering the following question:
    • How old are you?
    • Who is/has been the most important older person in your life?
    • What do you like best about the age you are?
    • What do you fear most about growing older?
    • Have you done research on these issues or are your ideas based on people you know or stereotypes of aging?


    PART TWO: Who Will Take Care of Me When I Get Old?

    We live in a youth oriented, ageist, heterosexist, and "homophobic" world. Most of our laws, our services, and our entitlements deem that our living and dying happen within the context of the traditional family: mother, father and children; even grandparents aren't regularly included in our definition of family. The old are invisible.

    Many states require "family" for enrollment in hospice or respite care, and often an LGBT senior's circle of care providers is left out of the decision making process in terms of medical and end of life issues. It is best to live and die in family and community - and many LGBT seniors have neither.

    To be an old LGBT person sometimes means going into the closet as the years go on, especially if one is ill and needs a nursing home or some other form of long term care. Institutional residence is often more necessary if one is not living with a partner and has no immediate family and/or is alienated from family.

    Some nursing homes are becoming aware that people over 65 are still sexual - or at least in need of sexual/sensual contact. There is a growing acceptance of this - even for people with Alzheimer's disease, whether they are married or not. Full acceptance of seniors (LGBT and heterosexual) includes acceptance of sexuality - it needs to be honored and provided for in nursing homes and assisted living.

    A leading nursing home complex in New York City and other more advanced nursing homes and assisted living facilities have developed "safety rooms," where heterosexual couples, even those with dementia, could go to express their sexuality. Health care professionals were given training to make them sensitive to the continued sexual needs of the frail as they became elderly - or the elderly as they became frailer. Unfortunately, such rooms have been provided for men and women, but not for women and women or men and men.

    Why not ask your provider to talk to their State Ombudsman Program about including LGBT issues in their trainings and on their check list. Or, see if they would be willing to enroll as an Ombudsman.

    Furthermore, long term care residents in Joint Commission on Accreditation of Health Care Organizations (JCAHO) accredited facilities have specific protection against sexual orientation discrimination. But your friends and relatives need to help monitor this. When there is a lack of compliance they should use the JCAHO complaint hotline: 1-800-994-6610.6


      EXERCISE 22: Referral Services for LGBT Seniors
      The company or agency you worked for and from whom you now collect a retirement income does not provide social and referral services to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender seniors. Write a letter to the head of the Human Resources Department explaining why it is important that they provide accessibility for their employees? Explain what has to be done to make it accessible, including any staff and public relations needs. E-mail the letter to your coach.


    PART THREE: Legalities of Living and Dying

    A major issue in the LGBT community is the recognition of partners or, in their absence, of caring communities that provide important support and services. The need for this recognition, though not confined to seniors, takes on additional import as we grow older. There's the likelihood of hospitalization and additional health issues like medical decision making and disposition of remains. In "straight" families this is handled by the "next-of-kin," usually spouses and children, but an LGBT senior in need of care and physical and emotional support faces a serious problem. There are laws that prohibit hospital visitation by anyone other than blood relatives and in many states this means that a gay partner can be shut out of his or her partner's life at the most critical time.

    Our current laws were created in a context which assumed the stereotypical family. As a result, LGBT seniors face many challenges when dealing with medical crises and end of life issues.

    Changes in New York State Law
    Recently, the New York State Legislature passed bills ruling that same-sex partners cannot be banned from visiting loved ones in hospitals, and can have a say in what happens to their partners bodies after death. In September 2004, Governor George Pataki signed a bill stating that hospital visitation rights should not be affected by the sexual orientation of patients or visitors. Before then there was no standard for cases in which the patient was unconscious, incapacitated, or rushed to the hospital in an emergency.

    At the end of the 2005 session, the New York State Legislature passed a bill that provides domestic partners, both same sex and opposite sex, the ability to make decisions in the disposition of partner remains. Before this bill, it was unclear in New York who had the authority to bury or cremate bodily remains. The legislation creates a simple proxy form and recognizes that a written document expressing the wishes of the deceased always takes highest precedence.

    It's important for us to be aware of these changes in the law, as some health care providers may not be aware of them. If you are in a situation where your rights as a partner are challenged you should not hesitate to make the provider aware of the new laws and if they do not respond, consider taking legal action.

    Issues that Need to be Addressed
    One of the issues still up in the air in terms of the legal rights of same-sex couples, is medical decision making. Bills in both the New York State Assembly and the Senate create a legal priority as to who can make medical decisions when patients are unable to do so for themselves. These pieces of legislation put domestic partners at the same legal priority as married spouses. If you haven't done so, you should make sure your legislator knows that you support these bills.

    An important step for LGBT seniors to take is the completion of a health care proxy. This is a form that gives someone the authority to make all health care decisions. In the absence of a proxy (and in some cases, even when a proxy is provided), biological family members are often identified as the primary decision makers. (You can download a copy of the New York State Health Care Proxy form from the Department of Health web site.)

    In our culture, law, medical and social work schools and theological seminaries don't teach their students about the needs of any old people, except, perhaps the frail elderly. And they have little, if any, training in the needs of the LGBT elderly. Without prepared professionals it becomes the task of LGBT seniors to educate the providers in areas such as well spouse support, grief recovery, and end of life decision making including funeral and burial practices. RAI and others are working to bring this needed education to the professionals, but seniors don't have the time to wait for everyone to becomes educated. Most professionals are not adverse to learning about the issues; they are simply ignorant of them. Therefore, you should feel free to bring your provider copies of this information and direct them to sources which will help them learn.

    The mental health care system shares many of the heterosexist assumptions. "Well spouse support" groups and grief recovery groups are usually geared toward "spouses" in the traditional sense - husbands or wives. Well spouse groups that welcome LGBT people are found in the few social service agencies that are LGBT specific. But surviving partners who have not been "out" despite being in a monogamous relationship for 20, 30, 40 or more years may have difficulty finding an understanding group or agency. And very often, if the partner attends the group, the surviving family will use the occasion to express their dislike of the relationship. When a partner dies without a will or specific instructions about disposition of the remains (and sometimes, the property) the situation is exacerbated. We need to make sure the agency or group understands the danger of such a situation and that steps are taken to head off any such confrontation.

    Grieving rites usually involve gathering to support the surviving family, but this does not happen when the "survivors" are unknown or unrecognized by the family, the religious institution, or other parts of the community. During the height of the AIDS crisis there was "constructed" family and community in place that may not have been included in grieving rites. This phenomena still holds true for many LGBT seniors.


      EXERCISE 23: Grieving
      Your friend, a 65 year old lesbian, has just lost her partner of 40 years. She calls you and asks if you know of a grief group where she will be comfortable. Put your answers to the following questions in an e-mail and send them to your coach.
    • What will you tell her?
    • If you know of a group, what can you do to prepare them for this grieving lesbian?
    • How will you handle reactions from "straight" surviving partners who cannot relate to the grieving lesbian?
    • What are the common issues?
    • What are the unique issues for LGBT seniors?


    PART FOUR: Strengths of the LGBT Community

    Today's LGBT seniors have lived through periods of wholesale rejection and condemnation from all segments of society. They have been labeled "illegal" by the State, "immoral" by the religious community, and "mentally ill," by the medical and mental health establishments.

    In spite of this marginalization, many of our LGBT seniors were and are social, artistic and political pioneers. They were key in creating a unique and distinct LGBT culture, celebrating the LGBT identity, non-traditional family structures and more varied gender expression. They built LGBT community-based organizations, promoted LGBT cultural expression through writing, music, the performing and visual arts, and organized to reform homophobic laws, institutions and practices, educating the public about our issues.

    If you are one of these seniors, you have dealt with homophobia for decades. And you can use the same strategies to deal with "ageism." You can bring your learning experiences to younger generations. Many LGBT seniors have remained "single," but have built support networks of friends, family and past lovers that enrich their lives and provide caregiving assistance. And those who have been in loving relationships for decades despite not having been recognized by laws, are in the forefront of advocacy for changes in laws that recognize domestic partners.

    We applaud those LGBT seniors who take an active part in the changes that are being wrought. And we encourage all LGBT people, regardless of age, to become active in the movement to bring about equal care and treatment for LGBT seniors. They have done so much for us; it's time we did much for them. (See the RESOURCES link for organizations and agencies where you can go to offer help.)

    PROCEED TO MODULE 8
    SUICIDE PREVENTION


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    The information provided by Rainbow Access Initiative, Inc. is for educational purposes only and is not intended to render medical advice or professional services. The information should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or a disease and is not a substitute for professional care. If you have or suspect you may have a health problem, consult your healthcare provider.

    Rainbow Access Initiative is a 501(c)3 tax-exempt organization.
    These materials were produced through a grant from the New York State Department of Health.
    You may not use them without the written permission of Rainbow Access Initiative, Inc.
    Permission may be obtained by contacting the Director.