If you are a teenager and you're gender variant, or express same sex desire, you are likely to be taunted, harassed, abused and socially ostracized. Social services have not yet been completely developed to address you or your family. And schools are often ill-equipped to deal with lesbian, gay, or gender-variant students. You need compassionate psychotherapeutic services to help you develop ego strength and a healthy self-concepts.
Most sexual and gender development theories assume that "normal" development results in heterosexuality and gender is determined by biology and genitalia. These are the theories adults use to define the sexual orientation and gender development of adolescents. Unfortunately, these 'theories' don't provide much guidance for those who arehave the responsiblity of working with you if you behave in ways that don't conform. They need to understand that the healthiest way to view sexual development is as a process without a correct, predefined result. If they want to erncourage healthy sexual and gender development, they need to embrace diversity and encourage what is natural for you.
But what can you do if your school counselor or medical provider is not open to this and doesn't accept teens or children who don't fit the rigid male/female definitions?
In such instances, the roles become reversed. You must become the educator. You need to provide them with the information they need to understand your situation, to appreciate the difficulties you face, and to provide you with the kind of support and guidance they are obliged, as professionals, to provide.
Here's a list of resources you can print out and take to those who need to learn. Present them to your counselor or medical professional in a way that shows you realize they simply don't know about these things. Explain that you understand that their training probably didn't provide them with this and you want to help them to help you.
And if that fails? Here are some outside contacts you can pursue for help.